Chuckle...I don't have to go through any of this!

Incredible moment the other day!!! I was taking a test in my directing class and, no, that is not the cool part, I felt the baby move!! At first I thought it was a muscle twitch since my body does really odd things lately. I shifted in my seat to see if that would remedy the twitch, but it kept going. I then realized what it was!! It was, in a word, amazing. How do I even articulate what it is truly like?

I was looking at "What to Expect When Your Expecting" when I got home later that day, and I read the part that said that women feel the baby at varying times, anywhere from 14 to 20 weeks. Well, put me in the 15th week column.

When Josh got home that night, I was doing homework and trying to relax on the couch. He picked up the "Expecting" that I had left on the coffee table and started to read. Suddenly, he started to chuckle. I thought, okay, I really didn't find anything very funny in the book. I continued to do my homework. Soon, he started to laugh again; my curiosity got a hold of me and I asked him what he was laughing about. He said, "I don't have to go through any of this!" He then started to list things he had found funny. I dryly looked at him, held my tongue and started to do my homework once again.

Later that night, I was thinking about him laughing, feeling like he didn't really care about all that I am going through, that he will never understand and then it hit me: it is actually kind of sad he doesn't get to go through it. #1...it is my role as a woman in the plan of salvation and #2...he will never feel the life and connection as I do. So, maybe I should randomly chuckle and tell him "You don't have to go through any of this!" I think he is ready to "feel", palpably and through my skin, the baby move, but it will not be for a while and it will not be the same sensation or experience for us both. After I told him I had felt the baby move, he said "when will you feel it kick?" He may be laughing on the outside, but I can see the jealousy. Jealousy of my stomach aches, headaches, constipation, fatigue, dizziness, loss of appetite, lack of want to smell certain foods, nausea, of my ever increasing waistline (even though I am maintaining weight now because I cannot eat too much still), and my unpredictable mood swings. Yep. Jealous!!!

Being a woman is A-MAZ-ING!! This has been one of the most wonderful experiences yet in my life.